Trying this out

So I'm really not sure how I want to do this all. I know I need to write more. I think that will help with my stress a bit. I could also use some advice at times and this seems like an ok way to get some advice. So I guess I'll just write. I'm not very good at this, so bear with me for a little while, while I figure out something to talk about.

A little about me... I'm an engineer at the University of Idaho. I love the prospect of what I could do, having a major like this. But the schooling is killing me. Some of the classes are quite awesome. Most are abstract, math intense, and don't seem useful. I love math, don't get me wrong. But I like plain, simple Algebra. Having to understand the overlying concept before actually being able to comprehend how to use the equation is the rough part. For the most part, I'm extremely happy with my major and my choice of universities.

But all this schooling can wear on a person. I've decided I want to try and get my Ph.D. I know that will take a lot more school...and I'm not really excited about that. But I think it could be fun. Most of me, though, wants to be out of school. I love learning, but the stress of everything is a bit overwhelming most of the time. Add onto that the additional stress of trying to get into a good grad school and it's no wonder my back is so tense at times I can barely move. After all of this though, I am still determined to follow through with my plans for what I would like to do as a career. Even after all this time and schooling and hard work, I still am extremely passionate about what I want to do for a career. That, however, is the subject of another post.

Included in the feeling of me wanting to be out of school is the desire to actually have some semblance of a stable life. Right now, I can only plan about a month in ahead (I'm a planner), I feel like I'm constantly changing up my routine and where I live, and all of this uncertainty of even the near future, is tolling on me. I like to plan, like to figure out what I'm going to be doing when (and if I'll EVER have time for a vacation!). I want to be out of this stage - this stage in life where I'm neither kid nor adult. This stage where at school I am responsible for everything in my life and at home I'm still treated like a child. I hate this stage. I just want to move on...I want to be an adult. I know that comes with a lot of responsibilities. But I can handle them. I'll figure it all out. Most people do, I shouldn't be any different. I want to have some normalcy in life. I want to have a steady house to live in, a steady job to work at, steady friends to hang out with. I really don't like this constant changing.

All-in-all, I really do love learning and love college. I know at the moment it doesn't seem like it, but I love to learn about all types of things, from all of Euler's equations to viral replication. I also love reading and am quite sad that I absolutely do not have much time to do it anymore. But I love this school and I love knowing that eventually, I'll be living the life I want to live and I'll have a job that makes me proud.

Well, this is it for my first post. I'll try to update fairly regularly. I know probably nobody will read this for a while, but if you do, I'd love to hear comments.

~me